Basic Biology
by emiko150
Summary: When Rachel asks Finn just how he had gotten Quinn pregnant... she learns just how much Finn fails at Biology/Sex Ed. Rated T for safety


Basic Biology

Rachel Berry is many things. She's ambitious, she's talented in the aspects of the arts, including visual arts, she is able to keep her grades high while balancing all of her extra-curricular activities. Yet, she wasn't any of those, right then and there while she was speaking with a good friend of hers, Finn Hudson.

Either she hadn't been paying enough attention in 7th grade biology, or that cheerleader was lying. She decided it was most likely the former since that cheerleader, Quinn wasn't exactly kind to her, but she didn't think she was a liar.

"E-excuse me? Could… you repeat that one more time?" Rachel requested. Her eyebrows furrowed as if she were trying to decipher an increasingly problematic code.

"Well, uh… which part do you want me to repeat: the part about the making—"

Rachel interrupted him quickly to spare her ears of the "magnificent bliss that both of them felt when their lips were locked." "Just… repeat the part about _how_ you had gotten her pregnant."

"Well, Quinn said that while we were in the hot tub, my um…" Finn paused as if trying to think of a better word than semen, "sperm had…" Finn paused again, and seemed to stare at his nose as if trying to think of a better way to word _fertilized the egg_. After deliberating on his choices, he figured that it was the best he could think of, "fertilized her egg because of the hot water. Apparently, sperm can swim even faster when in warmer temperatures," Finn finished.

Rachel's eyebrows knitted together and she stared at the floor, her upper lip slightly raised as if she couldn't believe what she was hearing. She opened her mouth, then closed it repeatedly, only to just go back to thinking carefully. Finn stared at her while she was doing so. "I could repeat it again if—"

"I understood you," Rachel cut in. She blinked rapidly. "I just don't believe it. Or rather, it doesn't make sense to me." She tapped her index finger to her chin in thought and finally spoke again, "Did you ever _take_ Biology? Or even… did they _teach_ you anything in celibacy club or whatever?" Rachel asked with disbelief in her voice.

"Yes, I took Biology!" Finn protested. Lately, people were starting to think he was stupid. He wasn't stupid. He was just… not the sharpest tool in the box. But, he's definitely not the dumbest one either. "I just… got a D-…" he mumbled softly.

Rachel gave him an incredulous look before letting out a big sigh. "Okay, Finn, I'll try to explain this to you."

Finn tried to listen, yet while she was talking he heard the sound of wind which kind of overpowered the words coming out of her mouth, he only heard the words: sperm, water, and not possible. Those two made him start to pay attention, "Not possible? What do you mean _not possible_?"

"Finn. Sperm cannot survive warm temperatures. Hell, it can't even survive at body temperature. That's why when boys get fevers, they have to ice their…" Rachel looked at the ceiling and cleared her throat. "Anyway, my point is, it couldn't have been you because yours would've died as soon as they were released in that hot water."

"So…" Finn squinted as if trying to think extremely hard. "What the hell?"

Rachel made an annoyed groan, "You did not get Quinn pregnant, unless you may have some other possibility?"

Finn opened his mouth, then closed it again. "So does that mean I'm _not_ dating Quinn anymore?"

"How the hell should I know? If you want to be with her, then be with her. I'm just telling you that the wh—I mean, girl had probably cheated on you and most definitely lied to you," Rachel explained, looking expectantly at him.

Finn just stared at her. "So, how _did_ I get Quinn pregnant?"

Rachel face-palmed.

* * *

Hehe, I love this show. But, I wish there were more episodes. I just had to do this. When I heard Quinn say that, I was all like, "What!?" And the scientist in me was all like, "That's not possible! Liar! ... Bad child..." So, yeah. Tah-dah! It's kind of RachelxFinn... but it's more like friendship.


End file.
